2/19 - 11pm

I can not speak for dawn, but this has been undoubtedly been the most stressful day of my life.

We started the day early at 8:30 meeting with Rich Jones and Dr Cone. They showed Casey and I the scans they had done of the tumor and the problems with it. They explained why they could not operate on it and gave us their opinions on why they felt like radiation might not be a viable option for dad.

After meeting with them we felt that we needed to be considering hospice or other options, to make dad comfortable and to prepare ourselves for dad to maybe not be with us in a few months. It was a low of lows... But considering that dad had told us that he did not want to do chemo again, we felt like that probably included the idea of radiation. The reason he did not want to do chemo, was because of how terrible it made him feel. We could only deduce that he would not want to do radiation if it was going to cause the same side effects.


While trying to make plans with hospice and make plans about what kind of care we were going to be able provide for dad, Dr Ferrero showed up to talk to us. We had decided to DO hospice. We were ready to go. The nice lady from hospice was ready to call a transport to get dad over to hospice. But like I said... Dr. Ferrero entered the picture.

Dr. Ferrero is from Columba. That is not a bad thing. Where it became a problem was first of all the cultural differnces and second, the language barrier. Instead of coming to us and letting us know that he had an option that we might want to consider for dad, he came to us telling us he was NOT going to sign any odrers that would allow dad to go into Hospice care. He was abrasive, arrogant and hostile. This did not set well with any of us and caused quite the stir and quite the scene in the waiting area of the 6th floor at BSA.

So, now the situation is this. Dr Ferrero is forcing us to listen to him in broken english talk about something that he can not find the appropriate english words for and telling us that he will not sign papers releasing dad into the car of hospice. He tells us that he has scheduled an appointment for dad to have a consultation with the radiological oncologist on next Tuesday. One of the big problems with that is that dad is now being discharged from the hospital and is in need of constant care - which hospice was going to provide for 5 days while we got things settled. But now if we chose to go with the option of meeting with oncology, hospice will not take us because we are seeking treatment. But we can not get into hospice because Dr. Ferrero will not sign the $%#$ papers. Rock, meet hard place.... Hard place, meet Mr Rock.

My loving wife. Lord, I love her. She asks Dr. Ferrero why we have to wait till Tuesday for a consult with the radiological oncologist... Well... turns out, the is out of town. But my loving bride suggests that Dr Ferrero use a new device called a "telephone" to find a different radiological oncologist here in Amarilo to meet with us so we don't have to wait till Tuesday. Between this and Casey crawling his case and me chosing my words and expletives not very wisely, Dr. Ferrero found us a new radiological oncologist.

New radiological oncologist=Dr McCormick at Harrington Cancer Center.

Dr. McCormick has a fancy radiation machine with a really long name that I do not remember. It makes a very precise beam hit the tumor and has no ill side effects (like conventional radiation).

There is more to it, but the quick verson is this: Dawn and I think that because it does not have the crappy side effects like chemo does, we want to try it to give dad a chance. There are some different tests that we are going to do to see if there are more tumors in other places in the body and brain, but with the information we have today, we believe this is the best option for dad and would honor his wishes.

Please please please keep praying for wisdom and strength.

Isa 43:2 - When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.